Dennis and the Ultimate Sandwich

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Archivist’s Note [2016]: this was the 1995 Fresher’s Play, and completely sold out. This information courtesy of James Reid
Archivist Note [2020]: The poster says it’s 1994…
Archivist’s Note [2023]: Is everyone getting confused between the 1994 Fresher’s Play and the 1995 FebFest production? Archivist’s Note [2023 again]: Got another email confirming it? Maybe they just got the poster date wrong cos they copied the marketing and forgot. I am going to ask.
Archivist’s Note [2026]: Sorting through old emails. David Gerstein tells us the play was absolutely in the year 1994/1995, so couldn’t have been autumn 1995. *other activist note also 2026 Rishi do your degree please

The basic storyline was “evil tycoon Bradley McBreath and his gigantic bakery conglomerate held his slumlike big city in a deathgrip. Peasants working for the factory sang about the poor quality of their bread. An approximation of the closing lyric: “It doesn’t taste good, but it helps pay the rent / When there’s bread in the air, it’s the air of content.” This then lead to Dennis, Bradley’s goodhearted son, attempting to change things…” According to an email James Reid sent Dennis, there were two versions, one of which was an improvised play involving someone called John, James and some other friends; they were short of a lunchtime so volunteered it, based on an idea James had; it was JJ’s idea to have the whole set made from cardboard, with a lot of Flamebar to prevent the theatre burning down; it was a cross between Hamlet & Asterix the Gaul.

James also provided the following plot summary:

“Here’s what I remember:

Bradley poisons Dennis’ father (in the ear with a carrot) over the love of his wife and the sandwich business. (we did this as a silent movie)

Cut to many years later and Dennis pops off to the dentist where he is gassed and has his tongue injected. In his haze and requiring a midnight snack he makes the sandwich but can’t taste it and goes back to bed.

His Mum (a dinner lady) discovers it and gives it to the kids who love it. So the powers of the sandwich spread - ducting butter mountains etc and everyone wants to get their hands on it: the govt, the French, a rubbish theatre company, mcdonalds.

Bradley imprisons Dennis and makes him make sandwiches in the basement whilst he makes a fortune. Ultimately Dennis is freed by Bradley’s daughter (Arrabella) and the tooth fairies.

Dennis finds the sandwich, eats it and dies as his father planted it there and Dennis goes to the great sandwich bar in the sky. All the other characters rush in, see the sandwich and eat a piece - subsequently all dying.

Big closing number! The End!

…is what I remember.

Things I don’t remember… what (looking at the cast list) did the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse have to do with it? I remember Made in Taiwan Man and his side kicks but can’t remember their function.

Songs:

The dentist song - “Dennis! Let me look inside your mouth. Dennis! Let me pull your molars out!”. Saying that Pumpkin (Adam Spiers works in theatre in London - so I can quiz him on the rest of that)

Die! - sung by all the cast when all groups decide to kill Dennis in order to get the formula for the sandwich

Dennis’ Lament - “the ones who I adore, don’t love me anymore. Marked and sold for a price by my Mother…”

Closing song: “Being your dead Dad ain’t easy, when I’m stuck way up in the sky, but Dennis you’re coming back with me coz there’s a party for you back at mine”” Hope that helps!